I am happy with my life. I’m not always satisfied with the things that I have, but those are just things. I am happy with my life. There is a constant joy in my heart that keeps me going. The best way to explain is to say that I am whole and complete. I don’t wake up and think this can’t possibly all there is to life. I am complete.
My children love me and my husband loves me. There is a lot about me that’s nowhere near perfect. I’m selfish with my time and I think that is my worst fault. If I don’t feel like doing it, whatever it is, I’m not going to do it. I don’t make time to visit people either. I feel bad about that sometimes. But, I am so complete within myself and my house that I never feel the need to seek others out. I don’t feel like I need anything from them.
Aside from that, I’m happy with my life. This is me. At 31 I dont know how much I can change. Not that I have the big head, but there is only one thing I want to change about myself. My goal for the rest of the year is fellowship, to reach out to someone at least once a week, to visit, to call, to write.
This will be the hardest thing I have ever done. I have excellent communication skills and I’m a good listener. I really dont understand why this is so hard for me. That may sound silly to some of you, but, This is me. This is my battle, my pain. So, I am stepping outside of myself and my comfort zone. I have been called to counsel, but I am my own stumbling block.